Dear Lady In Waiting,

Monday, February 27, 2012


I've wanted to write you for a long, long time.
Today seemed like it was finally the time and I hope that you'll hear me out.

Lately, you have really been on my heart.
I see so many of you longing for a love that is true and real and I know how you feel,
because I've been there.


May I encourage you today?

Take this time and use it wisely.
Prepare yourself mentally, physically and spiritually for a future love that is true.
Enjoy every second of your singleness to focus on who you are-- and not who you are with a person.

Even when the man that God has for you arrives, continue to keep Jesus #1, always. Your spouse will let you down and disappoint you, he's only human-- a sinner. You can not rely on him to make you happy, no matter how wonderful he is-- only Jesus will completely fill your heart, satisfy you, and make you whole. 

Please, please-- dump the secular mentality of our world and please care more about how your future man loves, honors, respects and desires to obey God than about how much money he brings to the table, what he looks like, and what he drives.

We married people are not looking at you as an unhappy person, a failure, or a woman who can't hold down a relationship. We are looking at you with love, appreciation and excitement for you as you patiently await the man of your dreams. It's usually only when you are with a man who's intentions that we question do we wish that you would open your eyes and run.

If you've made mistakes in the past, it's never too late to start over. God's a big God full of grace and love and can make you pure again. If you're still waiting... hold on... the world may tell you that it might not be worth it, but I think they all secretly respect your perseverance. They may tell you that you need to "test drive the car to make sure you want to buy it," but trust me, you don't need a test run-- God works everything together for His good (Roman 8:28).


Friend, please please please-- if you are a Christ follower, do not settle with anyone but (2 Corinthians 2:14). You might think that you have things in common now, but over the months and years, a common trust and faith in Jesus is all that will matter. It will get you through anything. A chord of 3 strands is not easily broken. With God at the center of your triangle, you are bound for marital success; doesn't mean that you will not have problems, but together you will be able to pray through them and seek God together.
In 5 years of marriage, I hate to say it, but I've already seen so many of our friends get divorced. The common thread seems to be one thing and this was it: not being spiritually like minded (of course there were other things that added to it, and I'm certainly not promoting divorce).

Don't settle for anything but God's absolute best. Observe him, pray about him, ask his friends about him, and spend a lot of time with his family.

"Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women. Is there anything to be concerned about there? If so, bring it up. Also, does he have any close male friends - and what are they like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam’s passivity and/or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure, and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well."

Stasi Eldredge,
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

Finally, I write to you with a heart that is full of wanting to save you from walking into something that would ever hurt or harm you. Why? Because I love you! Praying for you today. God's watching over you and your heart today.

Linking up with Call Me Blessed

Leave a Comment

Erin said...

girl....this post has my jaw on the floor. this is exactly what us single gals need to hear. thank you for being honest and writing this!! i have been praying about this very thing tonight, thinking about some relationship stuff right now and this is so my heartbeat and what the Lord has been speaking to me lately.
love you and love your heart!

5ohWifey said...

Wow. Blow me away. And I'm not even single. This is one of my absolute favorite posts I've ever read. I hope single women hear this and know your heart... And Gods undying, unyielding, always and forever love for them.

Tay said...

I have never commented before, but I just wanted to say that I am kind of freaking out right now because this came at the perfect time! I was literally just thinking about my own singleness. You see, I'm a high school girl, so my emotions are everywhere at once. Sometimes I am flitting around thinking, "Oh, someday I'll find the Romeo to my Juliet or the Noah to my Allie. I just have to wait patiently. Like a lady in waiting!" But, other days (like today!) I sulk around thinking "I'm forever alone! I'll never find the man God has for me." I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart because this post was so encouraging to me!

Amanda said...

Well done, my friend. May God use this to touch SO many lives and hearts!

Irene @ Inspiration From The Little Things said...

Aww Heather. This was a very thoughtful post. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts regarding this issue. Your words are wise. And many women will truly benefit from them. I'm sending this link to my friend, who is having a difficult time in her life right now being single. You are a blessing. Thank you so much. :-)

♥ CheChe said...

thank you so much for writing this. I am actually in a very uncomfortable position right now. the man that I am currently interested in, when asked if he had feelings for me *by me because of the amounts of time we were spending talking and the fact that I like him and God just gave me a very weird boldness* told me that he hadn't brought me before the Lord and basically said no. Yet, he loves hanging around me and really enjoys talking to me and it just makes for a struggle because I want desperately to have the things that I see validate my hearts desires to be with him... But he isn't where its at and I know GODS best is best but as a single woman who doesn't get close to her brothers in the way that I've gotten close to this fellow in just opening up its a bit hard.

Keep me in prayer girl. I don't know what the point of me writing all of that to you was but I hope it made sense. I just really want to be done with this season of trusting the LORD above my feelings because it is quite a struggle. ha ha


Candice said...

I absolutely love this! What a beautifully written reminder for us single girls to hold out for a hero, and to keep our faith in God and his timing. Thank you so much for this much needed reminder today!

CMae said...

You worry way to much I saw your tweet about thinking you'd lose followers over this--who'd unfollow you over this post!?!? It's great! So well written!

Kara said...

This is all so true! And definitely some advice I could've used a few years ago. Thanks so much for posting.

Jen said...

you..are...AMAZING. thank you.

Just the Two of US said...

i needed this... thank you

Natalie said...

Even being in a relationship I needed to hear this! Thank you so much for writing this

Natalie said...

Even being in a relationship I needed to hear this! Thank you so much for writing this

Amber said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this! And thank you for the truth that you fill in your posts. :)

GingerPeachT said...

Sharing this now to my friends on fb. :-)
Well said.

Lesley @ the floyd boys said...

Also sharing this on my fb!

Kimberly Bonham said...

This post is amazing Heather! Left me with chills up and down my body!

ThisLittleMomma said...

I have no words- seriously speechless and that doesn't happen often. This has been on my heart lately, as I see single women that are doing just the opposite of what they should. Amen Sister, Amen!
Love ya

Gennean said...

Amazing- completely spoke to my heart this morning!! Thank you for your prayers and for sharing your wisdom!

Gennean said...

Amazing- completely spoke to my heart this morning!! Thank you for your prayers and for sharing your wisdom!

Heather B {dreaming big} said...

As always, such wisdom and encouragement. You have a beautiful heart my friend.

Toaster4JC said...

What a great post! So encouraging!

Ruthie Hart said...

Even though I am married I feel inspired by this post Heather and I can imagine you are changing the hearts of ladies waiting for love! Love your heart!

Mrs. Baker said...

great post :)

Mr. Taylor and his Lady said...

oh gosh, so perfect, as always. i loved that quote that you put in, "don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." amen!
xo TJ

Bek said...

Um, this was SUCH perfect timing. Thank you so much for hearing the Lord and sharing His words with your readers today. You have no idea how encouraging this post is; there were a couple sentences that literally screamed THIS IS WHAT GOD WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT!!! So thank you :)

SweetCaroline said...


as a single girl. i have been think about things such as these. you are a huge encouragement!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

That quote is AMAZING and SO DAMN TRUE. It's funny because if I think of that quote, I would NEVER want a son like my ex-husband. Never. But one like my boyfriend? Absolutely.

Makes perfect sense.

Desiree said...

i absolutely needed this.

thank you.

Nichole said...

This is absolutely beautiful ! I am linking it up to my blog today! Thanks for the inspiration !

Susan said...

This is such a great post and I think so many hearts were blessed by this! I didn't meet my husband until I was 24 and he was the only man I ever dated or kissed. I definitely guarded and protected my heart and got very close to the Lord because of it. I am so thankful for the man that God has sent me, but I will be honest sometimes its a struggle for me to lean more on God and less on my husband. It's also too much pressure to expect our guys to be everything to us, they weren't meant to be, and we can never be everything they will need either. That's the best advice I would give single women, completely devote yourself to God so that you are so in love with Him that you are content in your singleness. That way Mr. Right sneaks up on you instead of you frantically looking for him! :)

L said...

Wow. If I could write only one letter to single girls today, this would be it!!! =) What a beautiful post! =)
I'm not single but this is my heart in a nutshell =) So inspiring and so what I long for single girls to hear =)
Thanks for writing, you have a gift =)
Much Love,


Sandy a la Mode said...

wowee! this post is absolutely inspiring and amazing!!

Nicole said...

The quote is awesome and so real!

Jamie said...

Thank you for writing this. I was like the high school girl above when I was in high school, and I'm 40 now and STILL waiting, but I have hope and faith that God's got it under control. If He wants me to marry, it'll happen with a man of His choosing, and I'll make sure I measure that man by His standards, not the world's. Love your blog, and love that you have such an encouraging spirit!

Lauren said...

I believe this post is an excellent reflection of what a wonderful mother you will be. Encouraging them the ways of the Lord instead of ways of the flesh. Loved this post.

Allison said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have seriously been struggling with this lately after being single for about a year and a half and really starting to feel pressure (mostly from myself and my "let's get to that awesome future already" mentality) about finding the right man. Anyway, this helped a lot, so I'm glad I found your blog and your thoughtful words of encouragement.
xo Allison

Ayodeji said...

Thank you and God bless you!

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