Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Over the weekend, we savored what would be our last weekend together before we became parents.
We woke up, made a breakfast of blueberry waffles, eggs and bacon and then headed to church. At church, some friends of ours mentioned that they had been up to a local, nearby National park the day before and that it was super green and lush. We decided to go visit it ourselves. So we put Hartley in the car, threw together some snacks, and headed up the mountain.

It started pouring down rain. And the three, or shall I say four, of us were together and it was just magical. We took some time to stop the car and venture out into the rain for a good soak, and of course, the necessary picture taking. As we drove home, I looked behind me: my dog was soaked from the rain and had a huge smile on his face. I looked next to me, and there was my best friend for life, the one who has stood by my side over the past 8 years, holding my hand and leading us down the road.

We came home, where it was still raining, to change into comfy clothes, watch a movie and just enjoy time together. Hartley kept going upstairs and into E's nursery, where he would lay down near her crib, or venture into our bedroom where he would lay at the foot of her bassinet. It truly is amazing how intuitive he's been lately, almost as if she knows she will be here soon.

I feel so blessed these days; it is truly overwhelming. My mom is flying in in two days to spend the remaining pregnant days with me, and then my dad and brother will drive out as soon as signs of labor approach. Joshua's family is on standby, too. Friends have already started asking when they can bring meals and when they can visit us at the hospital. Our neighbors stopped by with breakfast the other morning and a bag of cute baby clothes for E. This little one is already severely loved.

I never take it for granted that I get to experience this gift. People keep asking me if I'm getting uncomfortable yet. Yes, I have my days. But truly, what could be better than this? The last thing anyone wants to be around is a whiny pregnant woman. I am thankful.

She's almost here! :)

Why, Hello There!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

... Still no baby :)

Just checking in to say hello, and to tell you all thank you so much for your sweet comments on my last post.
The break has been soooo amazing and I can not tell you enough how wonderful I feel! The encouragement to just rest & enjoy
this down time was overwhelming. Thank you for your support & encouragement.

We are getting SO excited to meet our little E! In the past couple of weeks we have started Lamaze class (I can't say enough about how amazing this class has been and how much it has helped us gain confidence going into the labor process-- we are so glad we did it!), gone on a labor & delivery ward tour, started having weekly doctor's appointments, have made a trip to Costco to stock up on tons of wipes and diapers, had family visit for a few days, enjoyed sweet summer nights with friends, enjoyed some fun date nights, and have just been enjoying this little miracle that is moving around like crazy in my tummy.

Here are some snapshots of the last couple of weeks! Thank you for continuing to share in our journey! Stay tuned... ;)

me & my boy
the realization that i look like a mom at costco
lamaze class
adorable outfit from katelyn
celebrating my friend jessica's birthday
hartley likes the new guestroom mattress
new rug
morning date with my boys
beautiful handmade creations from snowdrift designs
a day that i escaped
labor & delivery ward tour
nephew's (rocco & brodi) visit the neighborhood water park
. 38 weeks .
rocco & brodi visit the neighborhood skate park
re-reading this gem
new collage wall with maternity photos (by the talented jen russum)
afternoon nap... while i can ;)
joshua helping me with my shoes on date night

Some Honest Thoughts About Blogging, And Where I'm Going

Monday, July 9, 2012

If I were to be really honest, I would tell you that although I've gone through blogging "phases"-- from addicted and highly motivated to unmotivated and hating it-- over the past year since I started blogging, the last 4 months have been the hardest.

Actually, the past 7 months have been the hardest because as soon as I found out I was pregnant back in December, my motivation to blog went downhill. When I was battling morning sickness, the last thing that I could stand was the brightness of a computer screen. And since we waited until we were almost out of the first trimester to tell our blog family, it was hard for me to be transparent on here because a huge part of my life was something I couldn't tell you about.

Pregnancy has sucked the creativity out of me. Especially my desire to write. I feel like I'm always "blank."

Back in March, in a desire to fuel my dying creativity, I attended the blog conference Creative Estates. You can read more about my experience here. Like I said in that post, I wouldn't recommend the conference to anyone, but what came out of it were wonderful friendships and I wouldn't trade those for the world-- even though I never once was inspired by that trip, ha!

Unfortunately, a huge part of my heart was let down when I went to that retreat, too. I had such expectations for what it would be like, and how people would be there, that I was crushed when those expectations didn't turn out the way I thought they would. Not only was I grossed out by the turn of events at the retreat, but I was turned off by the heart of some bloggers: how they worship "big bloggers" like celebrities and how they instantly changed as soon as one of them walked in the room. Maybe I'm just at a season in my life where that stuff seems juvenile to me, or who knows, but I seriously was flabbergasted by some of the worship that grown women had for these "big" bloggers. And it ached my heart that I heard people say, "Oh you probably don't even know my blog-- I only have like 45 followers."
How sad that they felt like they had to defend themselves because they had a "small" blog.

[as of last Thursday]

I've had a few other unfortunate incidences where I've watched the blogging community turn mean, cold, and cliquey. That being said-- it's made me really, really sad. I know that all of us are humans, and sinners, but to see some of the rudeness, hate, and meanness come out in the past couple of months among grown women-- it has just broken my heart.

But alas, during one of the happiest seasons of my life, these events really haven't changed a single thing about my happiness overall. Carrying this daughter of mine... what could be more magical? I'm happy every day, quite frankly. But this whole thing... this whole blogging thing has made me question everything about myself and why I do it and it has brought me back to the original purpose of it all: to be me, glorify God, and share bits & pieces of my heart. It's not about me anyway-- it's about Him.

What's driven me, when I haven't felt like it at all, is all of the incredible women that I've met in blog land and the wonderful support system in my "real life"-- the friends and family members that comment or tell me they loved a certain post and to just keep going.

Moving forward, I am going to be taking a break here. I'm not going to not be blogging-- I'm just going to truly blog when I want to blog and not because it's a Tuesday and I need to do x, y, or z. A break to really just enjoy my time before my baby comes, and to just soak it all up. To detox and to fall in love with all of this all over again. To just sit in my baby girl's nursery and daydream about her and read all of those books I've wanted to read in recent months but I haven't had the time to read. A time to be selfish, and a time to prepare. A time to just focus on Jesus and spend more & more time with Him, and Him only. I'm so excited.

The bottom line... blogging has brought MORE good to me than bad. It's been one of the best things that has honestly happened to me. The comments, the baby gifts, the emails, the prayers and thoughts, the late night Tweets and texts-- they have changed my life. I'm a better person since I've started blogging. You all have changed me in many ways. I'm determined to not let the past hold me back anymore. I look forward to having some of my "drive" come back, and really soon, share with you the news that our little peanut has made her grand arrival! :) Thank you all for your wonderful, amazing support over the past 13 months-- you are incredible! You mean more to me than you know! xo

Maternity Photo Session

Friday, July 6, 2012


Photos by the lovely Jen Russum!

Didn't she do an amazing job?! We are in love with these and will cherish them forever! I always love getting to see my girl Jen and this time was really special because we finally got to have our husbands meet one another. Jen & Micah welcomed us into their home for the evening and we had a wonderful night of conversation, hamburger grilling and good times. We love the Russums, and our pictures, too :)
Thanks, Jen! xo

P.S. For those of you that are addicted to "The Bachelor/ette" (like me!), these photos were taken up in Phoenix at The Farm at South Mountain which is where Ben & Courtney had their "fake" wedding last season :)

Cup Half Full: In The Past Week

Sunday, July 1, 2012

... we've been at the ER three times (2 of the times during the middle of the night = miserable). Joshua ended up getting diagnosed with a staph infection that has caused him a lot of pain. It was finally the third doctor that gave it to us real and told us that he wouldn't be able to get back to work for a week. We are trying to make the best of it and are enjoying this time together before our baby girl arrives.

... we bought some of the remaining items off of our registry that we needed to bring little E home: a crib mattress, a changing pad, diapers, the monitor... We are still working on the aesthetics of the nursery but for now feel comfortable enough knowing that if she were to come early, we'd have everything we needed.

... I've had on and off Braxton Hicks contractions. Yesterday they were so uncomfortable that we had to leave church a little early. I was reading that dehydration can be a cause of them, so I've been trying to chug water today. I know that this 100 degree heat isn't helping. If you have any tips on how to stay comfortable during the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, please let me know! :)

... I've missed my family and friends back in San Diego more than ever and wish that my parents would move out here ASAP :) It's always nice to be back in our hometown, but it makes coming back home that much harder.

... monsoon weather has officially started. That means afternoon rainstorms that make the house all gloomy and I don't feel guilty for staying in my sweats and cuddling with my puppy and hubby all day.

... Joshua's great-aunt passed away unexpectedly (seriously she was just at our baby shower last weekend, so sad), his sister had thyroid surgery, my dad had a complete toe surgery, my nephews got the flu AND lice, and Joshua had his staph infection like I previous mentioned... what a week!

DESPITE it all, it's been a beautiful week of down time... of just enjoying this beautiful home we just bought and not tackling any big projects. The last 7 month of our lives have been non-stop and I am so thankful for this blessing in disguise-- no schedule, no work, no plans-- to just soak up some more time together before we become a family of three!

While I'm on this topic of rest, I just wanted to let you all know that this will be the last "Cup 1/2 Full" link up for awhile.. I'm not sure if I'll bring it back in the fall, or if I'll bring it back at all... just wanted to keep you in the loop :) Thank you for linking up each week over the past 20 WEEKS!-- I know I don't always have the time to comment, but I really do try to read each one! xo